You Say You Love
by Shy-phantom
Summary: Cho Hakkai and Genjo Sanzo are the odd couple of Criminal Investigators in Modern N.Y. Their pasts however have come back to haunt them with their most difficult case yet. Ch 6 now up! Please R&R, No flames welcome.
1. Prologue

**You say you love**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction.

**A/N:** I was reading a novel of the crime/investigation and general horror genre where a man seeks out his victims and literally scares them to death. I thought _this is terrible. Human beings can be such monsters. _This thought connected to Saiyuki, and how the only monsters were actual demons somewhat forced into their mindless killing due to the affects of the minus wave. I know – as well as most of you – that there is always a glitch in one out of a hundred and fifty human brains. Whether it is due to a negative childhood or a natural case of psychosis. And then an idea suddenly hatched in my mind, what if Sanzo was an investigator in our day and age, dealing with the absolute inhumane murders of a crazed psychopath? Although this story may be rather different to others on offer in the Saiyuki genre, I hope you find it interesting at least. Please enjoy, and flaming is frowned upon here. Only constructive criticism is welcomed.

**-Prologue-**

He sat in the darkened room swirling the crimson coloured wine in the rounded wine glass. The flickering lights from outside were casting shadows across his pale face making him look extremely sinister.

He took a tiny sip of the wine and cringed, it was not old enough to appease him. But it was the only wine that was in this apartment, and wine was wine he supposed. He looked over to the girl shivering with fear in the corner and grinned.

She would most likely taste as sweet as a fine wine. But it wasn't just about the girl or the delicious slaughter either. It was about the game and creating a piece of art.

She had tears in her eyes, which was good. She was afraid and regretting her sins about now. She was about to die and she knew it.

"What is it…why are you so afraid. If you are one of god's children you will go to heaven," suddenly the fear was gone from her eyes and he could see only utter despise and anger. He didn't like that look, he didn't like it at all. Not that it could affect what she could do with him. He smirked and took another sip of his wine. She was sitting in the far corner of the room but he could feel her heart beat none the less.

"You know what I'm going to do to you don't you" he asked. She slowly nodded "And you know what I'm going to do to her don't you" her eyes grew wide and she began to struggle like a wild cat against the restraints he had wrapped around her. The rope was surely burning her perfectly pale flesh by now.

"She is my gateway to heaven. Oh yes, believe it my love." He smiled and stood; she began to make squealing noises at the back of her throat as he pushed through the door.

A little girl with perfect blond curls lay cuffed to his bed. "Hello darling" and he closed the door.

The rope was cutting into her wrists but she didn't care. All that she could think about was Misty and what that monster might be doing to her in the next room. She heard her daughter's muffled cries of pain and fear.

Adrenaline was pumping throughout her body; she struggled against the harsh bondage and finally created a weakness. She worked on that weakened line of rope and broke her hands free. Fuelled by the screaming next door, she untied her ankles with numb fingers and pushed up from the ground.

She looked to the glass case displaying an assortment of medieval weapons and smashed it with her elbow. The blood ran down her arm as she took a broadsword into her hands. She shoved the door open only to see her captor on top of her daughter moving rhythmically. Her daughter's little legs kicking frantically, the muffled screams. The smell of blood.

"Get your dirty fucking corpse off of her right now" she demanded. He slowly complied with her wishes and turned to smile at her. "What are you going to do with that little lady, kill me?" She was shaking; even the blood in her veins was shivering. "You're damn right I am" He quickly moved to take the sword from her and swiftly ripped the blade into her stomach.

"And now, you can watch because you've been such a naughty girl" said the killer with a malicious grin. "Mummy!" screamed the little girl.

Cho Hakkai sat up in bed, little beads of sweat glistened on his forehead. He reached over to pick up his oval framed glasses and perched them on the end of his nose. Emerald coloured eyes flashed through the shadows of early morning. He didn't need to turn on the lamp; he knew every inch of this room by memory.

He leant over and picked the phone up off of the hook on the left side of his bed. He carefully punched in the numbers and listened to the tone.

"Yeah what the fuck do you want" a husky voice rattled into the earpiece. Hakkai blinked. "It's Hakkai Sanzo san, we have a problem." "Do you know what time it is" demanded Sanzo "Yes, it's three oh eight a.m. listen Sanzo-" "You're damn right its three in the morning" "Sanzo, there has been another murder." There was a long silence on the other end, uncertainly Hakkai cleared his throat. "I'll be right there".

On the other side of town, Sanzo slammed the phone down on the receiver and stared into the blank darkness.


	2. Deep Sleep, Dreaming

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction nor do I own any musical lyrics you might recognize from the band Evanescence in this particular chapter.

**A/N:** I was reading a novel of the crime/investigation and general horror genre where a man seeks out his victims and literally scares them to death. I thought _this is terrible. Human beings can be such monsters. _This thought connected to Saiyuki, and how the only monsters were actual demons somewhat forced into their mindless killing due to the affects of the minus wave. I know – as well as most of you – that there is always a glitch in one out of a hundred and fifty human brains. Whether it is due to a negative childhood or a natural case of psychosis. And then an idea suddenly hatched in my mind, what if Sanzo was an investigator in our day and age, dealing with the absolute inhumane murders of a crazed psychopath? Although this story may be rather different to others on offer in the Saiyuki genre, I hope you find it interesting at least. Although I am one for taking **constructive criticism** whole-heartedly, I do not appreciate flaming of my creations. So I will thank you to be polite and friendly while visiting this little world I have conjured.

**Chapter one: Deep sleep, dreaming**

Hakkai paced the room; he was not an impatient person. Not under normal circumstances. But a woman and her child could have possibly been murdered tonight. He wanted to act now. The first thing he had done was retrieving his notebook and record every exact detail from the dream. The colour of the carpet, the peeling wallpapers even the neon lights flashing outside the window.

Every single detail was essential to their case and essential to finding the killer. Hakkai walked over to the door and turned the handle. Sanzo stood there with a cigarette held between his lips.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked, little red veins crawling around his lilac coloured irises.

"Have you been drinking again Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, concerned. Though he knew the answer to his question before he had even asked it.

"What are you, my mother" Sanzo drawled and entered the small apartment.

Hakkai shook his head as he closed the door behind Sanzo and turned the lock.

"What do we have?" Sanzo asked quietly

"The aspect of the dream that stood out the most was the display of medieval weapons on the wall. The apartment looked cheap and sleazy. There was something as expensive as a German War Hammer made of gold, a dragon spear and a Black Ronin Tomahawk. The woman was killed by the murderer thrusting a broad sword into her lower abdomen." Hakkai suppressed a shudder at the sight of her intestines slipping onto the green carpet. "He knew that wounding her there would leave him time to visually torture her." Continued Hakkai.

"Who was the woman" Sanzo asked, "I'm not entirely sure. I drew a sketch of her and her daughter, here."

He handed his partner a beige coloured art pad and headed to his kitchen "Would you like some tea?" asked Hakkai, but the look that he received from Sanzo was more than enough of an answer.

"There's something else…I had another dream last night Sanzo." Hakkai said quietly.

"Was it another murder?" He asked watching Hakkai closely.

"No, but it was strange. You and I were in a Jeep with two other people. You were dressed as a priest and I had a monocle."

Sanzo blinked "Finally losing it are you?"

Hakkai smiled and took a seat near the television set.

"I am not quite sure what to make of the killer himself. He seems to be suffering from a case of Psychosis, his mention of the woman's sins and that the little girl was his gateway

There is relevance to Hakkai's dream in connection to the original _Saiyuki _story. It isn't - as one might assume – a cheap shot at a joke.

to heaven gave me that impression Sanzo."

Hakkai had known Sanzo for seven years now; he knew that he could not make any claims without backing up his statement with fact.

"You know Sanzo, the affect of psychosis can involve the individual with an obsessive attachment to a single concept and most of the time these concepts are religious beliefs." The pager on Sanzo's belt began to beep, he looked at the screen.

"Ok, we have a confirmed homicide" Sanzo said grimly.

Hakkai sighed and blew the surface of his tea watching the steam curl and seep like wisps of smoke in the air.

"Well, we best head off then." And the two left Hakkai's small apartment.

"Your car or mine?" Hakkai shrugged as they stepped down onto the flooded pavement outside.

"Yours is easier to access, mine is in the parking complex across the road." Sanzo nodded and unlocked the door of his car.

"I think I had better drive though," Hakkai said carefully, smiling as Sanzo glared at him. "It's my car, I'll drive"

The two slid into the front seats and Sanzo took the wheel.

/Oh dear/ thought Hakkai, looking at Sanzo start the engine up with great uncertainty. Sanzo wasn't really a good driver in the first place, but say that to his face and you'll be talking to the dark barrel of his gun.

Hakkai looked at his partner and studied his facial expression. He was stone faced all right, but sometimes when he looked at Hakkai…he shook such thoughts from his head before they got there.

"What did I say about pulling that empathy crap on me" demanded Sanzo with a growl. Hakkai answered only with silence and a sweetly passive smile. Sanzo swerved the car a little, almost grazing the truck beside him.

He didn't ignore the profanities that the driver of that vehicle was screaming out of his window.

He pulled the car over screeching the wheels against the rubble until they came to a harsh stop at the curb.

"Sanzo…" Hakkai began uncertainly

"Stay outta this" He growled and slammed the door.

Sometimes Sanzo felt the need to release his tension and the perfect outlet was some anonymous testosterone-pumped truck driver who had dropped his burger as a result of Sanzo's careless driving.

"Gotta problem" demanded the blonde as he faced the beefcake standing across from him. "You some sort of fucking head case, you coulda forced me off the road" he yelled, veins popping from his thick neck.

The rain was pounding down onto the gravel and pavement outside. Hakkai sighed deeply, but the passive smile never disappeared from his face.

Sanzo felt the grin force itself into his expression, that arrogant come-and-get-me grin that always seemed to push his offender over the edge into a blind and uncontrollable rage.

"What the hell are you smilin' at pretty boy," demanded the truck driver. He cracked his knuckles and stepped forwards as means of appearing threatening.

The rain ran down his face, soaking his golden hair and making it stick to his forehead, his hair hung across his eyes. Sanzo forced himself not to blink; his vision slowly became blurred as the cold droplets began to run into his eyes.

Hakkai watched through the frosted rain-streaked windows as the large man threw himself at Sanzo. Sanzo stepped aside in one swift and graceful movement. As the man staggered forward, trying to regain his balance, Sanzo brought his elbow down fast against the back of his neck.

Hakkai flinched, pushed open the door and stepped out into the rain. He watched Sanzo pounding his fists into the truck driver's face. "Sanzo" Hakkai called through the rolling thunder "I am quite sure he has endured enough".

The two investigators jerked when they heard a high pitched screaming coming from a near-by alleyway. Sanzo patted the man's shuddering shoulder and ran in the direction of the scream.

They faced an almost hollow alleyway covered in grime, trash and graffiti. A young boy was squirming; a larger woman was squeezing his throat and a man wearing a smart, fitted purple suit was trying to tear the larger woman's meaty fingers from around the boy's neck.

"Freeze lady" Sanzo said loudly, steadily holding his gun up and aiming it at the woman.

"The little bastard stole my husband," she screamed frantically.

"Listen Lady, what your husband chooses to do with his money is his choice, we do what we're paid to do," the man in the suit looked up and blinked as if he hadn't noticed Sanzo and Hakkai standing there.

Hakkai edged slowly and pressed the nozzle of his gun to the back of the woman's neck. The hold she had on the boy slackened and she began to sob.

The man in the suit turned and glared

"I was Handlin' the situation just fine" he growled, Hakkai carefully cuffed the large woman and was soothing her with words of comfort.

"I hope you realize _sir _that prostitution is against the law. So is underage sex. How old is your little one there, sixteen?" Sanzo asked, disgusted as he looked into the face of the young boy. His golden eyes seemed to shine in the darkness. Sanzo pointed the gun at the man. "What's your name" he then demanded "both of you".

The man grinned, "My nameis Gojyo, and this little fellow here is Goku. And he 'aint 16". Sanzo's attention was reverted back to the young boy whose breath was rasping and crackled "I'm hungry" he wined "Shut yer face ya overgrown monkey" snapped Gojyo.

Hakkai had taken the large woman to Sanzo's car and helped her into the back seat. He retreated a blanket from the boot for Goku.

"Am I supposed to know that name or something? Listen, we don't have enough time to play your little games _Mr. Gojyo. _I'm going to arrest you. You and your monkey" Goku frowned "I'm **_not _**a monkey," he said angrily

Gojyo laughed, his thick, red braid heavy from the rain. "Oh yeah? You and whose army? You gotta lotta nerve threatenin' me like that copper. Considerin' we haven't actually done anything against the law."

Sanzo glared at the red head "You've been pimping this boy out, that's illegal."

Gojyo smiled smugly "Prove it."

Hakkai approached the three Sanzo growled as Gojyo took the younger man's hand and helped him to his feet. Hakkai offered the blanket to Goku, who smiled broadly. "Gee, thanks!"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "C'mon monkey, let's get something to eat." And he brushed past Sanzo and Goku followed.

"He's right Sanzo, we cannot actually prove that the boy is a prostitute at this time. Also, if you remember, we have a crime scene to visit."

Sanzo returned his silver gun to its place and shoved his hands in his pockets. Hakkai followed him and slid into the driver's seat.

"Your knuckles are bleeding Sanzo, you had better let me drive."

Sanzo didn't look at his partner; he just took the passenger seat and glanced at the woman in the rear-view mirror.

"What the hell is she doing here? We don't have the time Hakkai." He took out the packet of cigarettes from his glove box and perched one between his lips.

The rain began to pound harder outside as the car made its way down the road.

Thankyou for taking the time to read the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. Please, R&R and again, flames are most certainly **NOT WELCOME. **


	3. The Crime Scene

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction.

**A/N:** I was reading a novel of the crime/investigation and general horror genre where a man seeks out his victims and literally scares them to death. I thought _this is terrible. Human beings can be such monsters. _This thought connected to Saiyuki, and how the only monsters were actual demons somewhat forced into their mindless killing due to the affects of the minus wave. I know – as well as most of you – that there is always a glitch in one out of a hundred and fifty human brains. Whether it is due to a negative childhood or a natural case of psychosis. And then an idea suddenly hatched in my mind, what if Sanzo was an investigator in our day and age, dealing with the absolute inhumane murders of a crazed psychopath? Although this story may be rather different to others on offer in the Saiyuki genre, I hope you find it interesting at least. Although I am one for taking **constructive criticism** whole-heartedly, I do not appreciate flaming of my creations. So I will thank you to be polite and friendly while visiting this little world I have conjured.

Chapter two: The Crime Scene 

Hakkai and Sanzo were silent for the remainder of the trip to the crime scene. The lady in the back seat seemed beside herself, babbling about "that cheating swine" and that she was going to give him a "what for" when she got home. For it was one thing to cheat on your wife, it was quite another to cheat on your wife with a prostitute. And a **_male _**one at that.

Finally, the small black car pulled up to the side of the road outside a tall apartment complex. There were police cars, red and blue lights flashing over the surfaces of their surroundings. Over graffiti covered brick walls and benches and fire hydrants. Sanzo stepped out of the car; his cigarette began to droop under the falling of the rain.

"Ah shit" he mumbled.

Hakkai assured the woman that someone would come to assist her soon. He opened the boot and took out a black leather suitcase.

"I'm sorry sir, this site is off limits to civilians" said a skinny, nervous-looking police officer dressed smartly in a blue police uniform.

"Get outta my way rookie" Growled Sanzo, Hakkai sighed and approached the young officer.

"We're investigators" he showed the officer his badge.

The young man glared at Sanzo, "go right ahead" he said through gritted teeth.

Sanzo flicked the wet cigarette at the man's feet and grinned as he passed the man. Before they pushed through the grimy glass doors of the apartment complex, Sanzo hurled his keys at the officer. He caught it and glanced quizzically at Sanzo,

"There's a lady in the car. Charges are assault and domestic disturbance. Get her details and an official statement of what happened."

"But I-"

The officer began to protest, but Sanzo slammed the door behind him.

"Perhaps it wasn't the most responsible thing to do Sanzo" Hakkai began disapprovingly.

"Fuck it" Sanzo replied as they entered the small, stainless steel elevator.

He took a fresh cigarette from the front pocket of his crisp, white shirt and placed it between his lips. The lighter clicked three times before a small flame appeared at the tip of it, flickering weakly as he held it to the end of his cigarette.

Hakkai cocked his right brow at his partner, smoking those things was like slowly committing suicide and Sanzo had been knocking them back like he knocked back whiskey. Not only was it a dangerous hobby, but smoking was also an expensive one.

They reached the eighth floor; the yellow police tape was strung across the open front door of apartment number 35a.

"The forensic team are already there Sanzo."

"I can see that"

He replied quietly as they passed the tape into the room. Hakkai surveyed the room; there on the wall hung an empty case. It was fashioned of polished oak the glass was broken and there was a rich red velvet lining. It was the weapons case that he had seen in his dream, but all of the weapons were missing.

"Sa-"

"Come in here Hakkai" Sanzo called from the bathroom. Hakkai carefully followed his partner's voice. The first notable aspect of the horrific scene in the bathroom was the little girl. Her perfect blond curls were laid carefully away from her round little face. There were markings on her eyes, like small crosses carved with a sharp knife or a tiny sharpened instrument.

Hakkai opened the leather briefcase, pulled out white vinyl gloves and adjusted his oval shaped frames. He sighed as he began to carefully collect the evidence from the walls, the floors and general surfaces of the bathroom. Sanzo had cleared the room in his typical point-the-gun-get-the-hell-outta-my-crime-scene way.

After collecting some blood samples with a cotton swab, Hakkai noticed something odd and out of place. A dark green book with small golden letters printed neatly on the spine lay on an angle on the lip of the bathtub. He walked over and picked it up, carefully flicking through the pages with his gloved fingers.

There was a page that had been marked.

"John Keats"

Hakkai said, squinting to properly read the small writing.

"What"

Asked Sanzo as he inspected the woman's body.

"It is a collection of John Keats poetry. It somehow seems out of place for an apartment like this."

"How do you know it wasn't the woman's?" Sanzo asked lighting (yet another) cigarette.

Hakkai pulled off his right glove and touched the surface of the book.

"It belonged to the killer…"

Images flashed in Hakkai's mind. Of a man dressed in black, his face bathed in the shadows of a miserable late winter afternoon. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and he was shivering due to the chilled atmosphere.

A bell chimed as he pushed through the door and he was faced with piles and piles of musty books. It was a wonder that one could move around in such a cramped store.

"Excuse me"

He cleared his throat, as he could see nobody behind the counter of the store. A young woman suddenly rose from behind the front desk with a slightly startled look upon her pale and well-featured face. Beautiful silky looking red hair lay at her shoulders, her startling blue eyes seemed kind and there was a slight blush in her cheeks due to the cold outside.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Can I help you sir?"

He grinned at her and shuffled past the books.

"I'm looking for a collection of keats' poetry. I don't suppose you would be able to help me?"

She smiled broadly

"Keats? Why, of course. He is my favourite poet. I'll just have a quick look for you."

With that she disappeared into what seemed like a maze of books. It was then that Hakkai awoke from his vision and he turned to Sanzo.

"I think I have seen a potential victim."

"Are you sure"

"Not entirely, but the woman who sold him this book…he seems to have made some sort of connection to her. Perhaps he lusts after her. I am not yet sure, I can be sure if we find her."

"I s'pose we'd better work on that first thing in the morning. Ah hell, it _is _morning."

Sanzo said, glancing at his watch.

"After we have finished here, I think it is the best idea to pull up her file from the archives. We need to approach this killer head on. He is no amateur, he quite clearly knows exactly what he is doing."

Sanzo nodded in agreement. He continued with closely inspecting the gruesome scene and the victims that lay lifeless on the bloody, bathroom floor.

Hakkai and Sanzo left the scene with a mutual sense of motivation. When they reached Hakkai's home, he began to make a highly detailed sketch of the girl he had seen in his vision. He noted everything from her pale eyes to her soft, wavy hair.

Sanzo revved up the computer and began to go through the gruelling process of looking through each file of each female registered in New York between the age of 19 to 25.

"Why are there so many women in this damned city?"

Cursed Sanzo after three straight hours of searching.

"Listen, I think we both need a break. I'm going to get something to eat"

Sanzo said being careful not to sound defeated as he rose from the chair in front of the computer. Hakkai took his place after rubbing his weary eyes and took over Sanzo's search for the mystery girl Hakkai had seen in his vision.

Sanzo picked up his long, black leather coat and slipped his arms into it. It had stopped raining outside and it was now six in the morning.

He stepped outside and began to walk down the street. The lamps lining the pavement were beginning to flicker as they died and allowed the natural light of the early morning sun to illuminate the streets. Dull stars still remained stubbornly in the sky and a half-crescent moon hung just above.

He entered a small café on the corner just five minutes away from Hakkai's apartment.

"Mornin' sugar. Are yah ready to order?" A waitress, whose face was caked with layers upon layers of makeup, asked with a flirtatious smile.

"Yeah, black coffee and hotcakes" he replied shortly. "Maple syrup and butter" he finished. He handed her a few crisp bills and folded his hands.

"Well well well."

A familiar voice drawled.

"Who would've thought that Mr. Tough guy eats pancakes with maple syrup"

It was the pimp, Gojyo from earlier. Sanzo glared at him but said nothing. His little monkey joined him.

"Hey Mr. You dropped this before"

Said the teen, placing a golden ring that was hanging from a golden chain on the table in front of him. Sanzo stared at the necklace for a little while, surprised that he hadn't noticed its absence. The golden ring on the elegant looking golden chain, it was beautiful. But Sanzo didn't like to look at it, without a word of thanks he dragged the ring from the table and shoved it in his pocket.

Goku looked a little hurt as his attempt to impress the inspector was ignored.

"Look buddy, monkey here did you a favour. The least you can do is toss a little thanks his way"

Growled Gojyo.

"I'm not thanking a prostitute for returning a personal item that is rightfully mine anyway."

Goku opened his mouth to protest.

"He 'aint no prostitute, what are you? Slow?" Demanded Gojyo angrily.

Sanzo replied by pointing the loaded gun at Gojyo's head.

"Holy shit, you're in-fucking-_sane_"

Goku shook his head and touched the barrel of the gun.

"Don't _hurt _him mister"

He said with a little innocent childishness to his tone. Sanzo turned his glare to the young man and found that the frustration had melted away. Goku's eyes were an incredible dark golden colour.

"Ah fuck off monkey, he don't got the balls to shoot me."

Gojyo grinned because he thought he knew he was right. But Sanzo _did_ have the guts to kill the insolent and quite obviously immoral pimp. The problem was he knew that legally it was wrong. Even if his entire body was screaming **_kill the bastard, kill him now. _**And Sanzo sometimes wondered why Hakkai believed he had psychotic tendencies.

The mobile phone in Sanzo's pocket began to tremor and vibrate, he quickly took it out and answered it.

"_Sanzo? It's Hakkai, I am terribly sorry for interrupting your breakfast but I've found the girl"_

"Alright. I'll be there shortly"

He hung up the phone. He stood and took his leave without a further comment to the two sitting before him.

Goku grinned as the waitress placed the pancakes in front of him.

Sanzo glanced at the Monkey as he opened the door to leave and remembered that he had already paid for the meal.

He groaned.

Thankyou for taking the time to read the second chapter. And if you have come this far, perhaps you can come a little further. Please be sure to read the third chapter and if you like what you have seen please review. I cannot stress how important it is for my ego :P


	4. The Human Seasons

You Say You Love

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction.

WARNING: The story contains a low level of gore.

A/N: Firstly, to those who do read this fic I would like to apologize for the length of time I have taken to put up the third instalment of i You Say You Love /i . Due to personal and professional reasons I have been unable to work on it.  
Secondly, I would like to warn you that one or more of the characters in this chapter are a little O.O.C (out of character) I have tried hard to keep the most complex fundamentals of each of the boys' personalities in check. However I needed to put my own twist into them just like I needed to put my own twist on the setting of the story. Some of you may not believe that what I have done with Gojyo's character in particular is a benefit to the story. I must assure you that he is still the bad-mouthed, womanising, chain-smoking alcoholic that you all know and love but with a few differences, which don't come out in this story often. So here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter three: The Human Seasons

Four Seasons fill the measure of the year;  
There are four seasons in the mind of man:  
He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear  
Takes in all beauty with an easy span:  
He has his Summer, when luxuriously  
Spring's honied cud of youthful thought he loves  
To ruminate, and by such dreaming high  
Is nearest unto heaven: quiet coves  
His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings  
He furleth close; contented so to look  
On mists in idleness--to let fair things  
Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook.  
He has his Winter too of pale misfeature,  
Or else he would forego his mortal nature.

John Keats

Gojyo took a deep breath and swore quietly as he watched the cop leave the diner. "Like we need the likes o' him stinkin up our shithole lives"  
Goku blinked.  
"I didn't think he was too mean though, he bought me breakfast."  
Gojyo scoffed and quickly lit his cigarette, he did this so fast that the waitress behind the counter didn't even see him move. She gave him a queer look for a moment and then continued on with her work.  
"Bullshit, fellas like that are only interested in one thing. No wonder he was so quick ter jump ter them accusations Ella was spittin' out her big, fat mouth."  
Goku looked down at the food, almost trying to protest and wondering why he felt so compelled to come to the stranger's defence.  
"Why d'ya think Lady Ella kicked you out Gojyo?"  
The younger boy asked with big innocent eyes. Gojyo ignored the question and let his eyes fall on a sweet little number filling up the napkin boxes in the back. He could only see from the bottom of her waist to the top of her throat. Boy oh boy, he could really use a little 'pick me up'.  
"Ah shit, why do I gotta baby-sit a pip-squeak like you?"  
He said quietly as the woman walked around the counter and started placing the boxes on tables in the diner. She had long, shapely legs and that little, tight pink dress clutched at every curve and every line of her body. Gojyo shivered as images and thoughts spilled into his mind.  
"Gojyo? What are we gonna do about somewhere to live?" Asked Goku as he began to shovel the pancakes into his mouth.  
"Do ya ever shuddap Monkey?" Gojyo demanded, frustrated. But it was a good question. They had no money, but he knew how to get money he just didn't like how he had to do it.  
"What's your name, sugar?" asked the waitress. She smiled at him, showing perfectly white teeth. Gojyo grinned; "Whatever you want it to be" he replied and spun around on his stool. "Saw that fancy trick ya did before hon. Are you some sort of magician?"  
Gojyo ran his tongue along his teeth and slowly smiled. He rose from his seat and feathered his fingers across her throat.  
She was an older woman, her hair had been dyed many, many colours. Her face was pretty but it was growing old, Gojyo could sense her desperation…her loneliness. She was a typical white trash cliché; working two jobs because she had a couple of kids to feed. She was looking to spend some money she had saved for herself. If she wanted to spend it on having a good time with Gojyo then that was just fine with him.  
"For a couple o' hundred I could work some fantastic tricks on you, sweetheart." He whispered in her ear.   
What made Gojyo better than the average Joe prostitute? He knew the ins and outs of women. He knew when they wanted to be touched and when they didn't. Where they wanted to be touched and where they wanted to be kissed. He could feel these things and he could feel their thoughts. He could feel their desperation and their pain.  
He pushed his fingers through his silky, crimson hair and gave her a playful smile.  
"I'll take the special." He said with a wink.

Sanzo swept over the pages that Hakkai had printed briefly and sighed.  
"I don't get it Hakkai, where's the connection." Sanzo looked at his partner and shoved his hands in his pocket. He caught his breath as he touched the ring, which lay in his pocket and he sighed making sure that he didn't lose himself while trying to maintain his professionalism. Hakkai recognized that look though, for a moment his partner's deep violet eyes seemed to empty and his pupils rather rapidly dilated. Although he felt a great amount of concern for Sanzo, he never said a word about it. He simply tried to put it at the back of his mind and focus on the issue at hand. He remembered why he was so committed to staying out of Sanzo's business.  
The first day that Hakkai was to discover the true pain of being Sanzo's partner was the day that he committed possibly the unforgivable.  
It was autumn and the streets were littered with the orange and gold of the decaying leaves.

"Isn't it beautiful, Sanzo? How death creates such beauty?"  
Sanzo scoffed and took a harsh drag from his cigarette. "They're leaves, Cho Hakkai. Nothin more than a pile of crap to blow off of your back yard."  
He felt hurt by that remark without fully understanding why. Hakkai never denied Sanzo's skill or his brilliance, what he lacked in personality he made up for with his genius. But it didn't make it any easier to put up with his snide remarks.  
Sanzo's mobile phone buzzed in his pocket, he fished it out and just listened without saying a word. He closed his flip phone with a click and said "Possible homicide not far from here. I'll drive."  
Hakkai didn't ask any questions - he was a quick learner. He just took his place in the passenger seat and watched as Sanzo lit another cigarette before he had crushed out the last one. The traffic in his memory was just like a blur of colours, probably because it wasn't as important as the other scenes he had seen that day. When they arrived at the site of the "possible homicide", there were people crowded at the foot of the building. Some were angry, some were merely curious but out of all of those people one stood out most ardently. It was a little boy with a mop of curly, brown hair and frightened green eyes. He ducked under the officers who were trying to handle the small crowd. Sanzo lead the way into the apartment building. When they had pushed through the large, metal doors they caught a glimpse of a boy running up the stairs. Hakkai immediately sensed something amiss with his new partner, though nothing about his facial expression or body language had changed he knew that something dark was unfolding within Sanzo.   
They heard a small cry of utter anguish coming from above them. Hakkai could not clearly decipher the words but he saw Sanzo flinch for a moment. His partner coolly dropped his cigarette, left it glowing on the grimy looking grey carpet and began to walk up the stairs. Hakkai followed; concerned about what he might see when they passed through the door at the end of the stairway. The first thing that Hakkai noticed was the small boy. He clung to the doorframe to the right; only a half of his body was visible. Sanzo walked towards the boy and then suddenly froze. Hakkai narrowed his brows and joined his partner. On the floor of the bedroom just across from them lay an older man, his glasses were inches from his outstretched hand, cracked and bent. His face was somewhat cruelly smothered by the blood, which had seeped from a deep wound on the back of his head.  
Sanzo seemed to be scarcely breathing. He was staring at the boy, who had vomit smeared across his mouth and tears all over his face. He was wearing pale blue denim jeans and a pair of old sneakers. Just like every other kid that Hakkai had seen that day. But this one was different, he looked like a child but he wasn't really. Not in his heart. He wasn't making any sound now. He was just staring blankly into the distance and then he turned to the two with his empty eyes.  
"I couldn't protect him." He stuttered. Sanzo seemed to gasp a little and it was then that Hakkai realized that he was trembling all over. It almost looked like he was going to faint. The blood had rushed from his face and he was as white as a ghost, his vibrant violent eyes empty, just like the child's. Hakkai touched Sanzo's shoulder and closed his eyes. His lashes flickered as he deepened his concentration. Hakkai was born with a certain "gift" he sometimes saw random scenes of the future without any known trigger. Sometimes, when he really concentrated he could make a mental connection with another human being and see into their personal past. But he had never done so without consent, not until that day. What he saw in the depths of Sanzo's heart was bitter blackness, a torrent of anger and fear and anguish. He saw gruesome scenes and true brutality. It was the kind of thing that made one question the level of humanity evident in the human race.  
When Sanzo stared off into the distance like he just had, he almost looks exactly as he did that very first day.  
"She has a small daughter but so far that's all I am able to connect her with the first victim. There must be more to this that we can't see at the moment."  
Sanzo slammed his fist down hard on the computer desk he looked enraged.  
"We'd better start seeing it. Innocent people will keep on dying unless we" he broke off suddenly, almost as if he was trying to catch himself before he said anything more. He cleared his throat "forgive me. I didn't mean to raise my voice" He turned his back on Hakkai and silently sighed. The memory of that boy – Goku – sprang into his mind without any sort of obvious provocation. Of the slow smile on his face just as Sanzo was leaving the Diner. He almost felt like smiling just thinking about the colour of Goku's eyes but shook it off, wondering where such an overpowering emotion came from. "When are we going to pay her a visit?" Asked Sanzo.  
"I think we had better go and see her as soon as we can, ask her for the records of people she has sold merchandise to in the previous weeks."  
With that, they both followed onto getting in the car and making their way to the bookstore that this woman owned.

The peach-coloured curtains were drawn across her small window. The bedroom was pretty plain. It had a beige carpet and a double bed, which was covered in a floral design. There were bright children toys and books lying in her floor but otherwise it was perfectly neat.   
Gojyo respected her wish for him not to smoke inside her house, he normally didn't respect that rule but his clients were to be respected. They were human beings, after all. She looked nervous as she settled onto the edge of her bed.  
"I wouldn't be doing this, n-not normally ya know? But my ex husband just got married and I'm…"  
"Lonely? Honey, I know exactly how you feel. People don't see me as a real person because o' what I do but I'm jus' like you. In reality I have nobody so I make it my job to meet others who feel that same pain….an' change it. Even if it only lasts for a little while."  
He took a seat beside her and felt her eyes on him. It would have made him shiver if he was still capable of feeling that tingle when a woman looked at him like that anymore. But he wasn't, he could pretend to be passionate but really it had all dried up. He wasn't entirely sure that he was able to feel impassioned anymore. He reached up for the ribbon in her blonde hair and gently tugged it free.  
"Believe me, darlin' there's no place I'd rather be right now."  
Tears welled up in her eyes as he leant against her and brushed his parted lips across hers. He felt her tremble a little.  
"Are there rules?" She whispered questioningly. She looked so innocent then that Gojyo could have laughed a little.  
"Rules? Nah, doll you can have everything with me." And he kissed her again, this time touching the tip of his tongue to her parted lips. She sighed and he felt her melt into his arms where before she had been stiff and possibly a little ashamed. She needn't be ashamed, he was there for her and for this hour he was fully and completely in love with her.  
He pulled away from her, felt a smile tug at his lips when he noticed that her fingers were entwined with his hair. He looked her with the greatest wonder and genuine excitement that he could muster as he carefully unbuttoned her worn dress. He looked over her exposed chest as he pushed aside the material. There were definite signs of childbirth here and of past physical abuse.  
She moved her hands to her exposed chest and shook her head, trying to cover herself up. "Why? You're so beautiful. Nobody told you that before?"  
"You're just sayin that because it's your job." She said, sounding a little hurt. Gojyo shook his head and stroked her face with the back of his fingers.  
"No, I'm really not."

/I'm not, not sure…not too sure how it feelsTo see you everyday  
In the reflection of a mirror  
But remember today  
You are mine  
And I am yours  
For lack of the haze  
I'd die for you  
'Cuz I hate the way you look at me  
Like I'm the last person in the world  
Part of the Loneliness that you feelin' every day  
I see you across the room of my soul  
Clingin' to the walls like it was your life support  
'Cuz I love the way you look at me  
Like I'm the only person in the world/

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles and she started to cry. This was what made him so successful. How he handled them like they were the loves of his life. And he was the only one who really knew that it wasn't completely false. For in every one of these women and men he saw a little piece of himself. Sometimes he hated them for it but this wasn't one of those times.  
He slid her dress over her shoulders and narrowed his eyebrows, almost feeling as though he would begin to cry because he felt such a sudden pang of emotion. She somewhat boldly took his hand and kissed his fingertips.  
He smiled, because he knew that he was going to be making her happy for the time that he had been paid to do so.

Goku sat in the lounge room watching the cartoon characters run around, causing frenzy in their paths. He couldn't concentrate though, he was thinking about Gojyo and what he might be doing for that Lady in her bedroom. He never knew what Gojyo did with his 'clients' behind closed doors. He was always too embarrassed to ask. His older friend didn't like talking about it either.  
Goku took a bite out of the apple that he was given by the waitress at the diner and flicked through the channels.  
He was bored.  
He looked around at the room he was in, there were discarded toys lying everywhere. He suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. He thought back on the days he was a small child. He didn't remember a lot. Not really. He remembered the orphanage that he grew up in. He remembered the other kids being taken to homes and leaving him behind. He lost a lot of friends, but that was how it went in places like that. He remembered the caretaker being cruel and mean and how scared he was of him. He also vaguely remembered a blonde man considering taking him in as his own.

"Stop fidgeting, damnit. Someone has actually shown interest in adopting you, you fucking pile of shit. I'm sick o' yer face."  
Goku cocked his head to one side, not knowing what these words meant. Just that they didn't sound very nice. He watched as the caretaker straightened his white shirt and that he had put the tie on too tightly around his neck. He was hot and sticky and he didn't like it.  
"He's about to come in, don't screw this up or you'll regret it:" said the caretaker, poking him hard on the chest. Goku waited until he wasn't looking to rub the spot that the caretaker had poked, it would later leave a bruise. But Goku wasn't a stranger to that.  
When the door opened Goku remembered feeling his little heart race. The man who walked in was blonde with purple eyes and a friendly smile.  
"Hello there, young man. I've heard a lot about you."  
Goku just kind of smiled, not knowing what to say. He felt his tummy grumble and frowned.  
"Are you hungry, little one?"

That was all he could remember about the man with purple eyes. He strained his memory to see more but he couldn't. That Sanzo man was responsible for the memory trigger. But Goku wasn't entirely sure why, he felt disappointed knowing that he would probably never see him again. Even though Sanzo was a little bit mean to him, he wanted to ask him something. At the moment though, he couldn't remember what.

------  
Thankyou for taking the time to read Chapter Three: The Human Seasons. Please review and tell me what you think, but NO flaming. They are not welcome. Thanks again! Shy-Phantom


	5. Are we Lost Yet?

--You Say You Love--

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction.

A/N: I advise that if you are not interested in reading something quite gruesome and graphic that you take care when you are reading this. The final paragraph of this chapter contains such material.

Chapter Four: Are we lost yet?

**"This Living Hand" **

This living hand, now warm and capable  
Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold  
And in the icy silence of the tomb,  
So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights  
That thou wouldst wish thine own heart dry of blood  
So in my veins red life might stream again,  
And thou be conscience-calmed—see here it is—  
I hold it towards you.

John Keats – 1819

Sanzo's hands were shaking a little as they looked up at the "Yes, we are open!" Sign. That was probably why he smoked so much, to stop the shaking and focus his hands on something else.  
"Booktopia?" He said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.  
Hakkai shook his head. "Do you think that we might be possibly a little more delicate when questioning this young lady?"  
Sanzo scoffed and dropped his cigarette butt. He pushed open the glass and oak door for Hakkai.  
The woman behind the counter seemed a little startled as the pair made their way to the counter.  
"Oh, hello there sirs. What can I do for you today?" She asked with a friendly smile. Hakkai blinked, his hands at his side and his heart beating a little too rapidly. She was the wholesome kind of girl. Her auburn copper curls were tied back in a thick braid, which rested at the small of her back. Her eyes were a bright sapphire blue and they were full of an innocence that Hakkai felt himself completely drawn to.  
"We're here to ask you a few questions." Sanzo said, breaking the trance that Hakkai had found himself in.  
"Oh sure. What did you need, I have everything here. Crime, romance, humour…"  
Sanzo shook his head and rolled his eyes. Hakkai could hear him silently scoff "Women".

Hakkai cleared his throat. "Actually Miss, we're Criminal Investigators." He showed her his badge and smiled kindly.  
She flinched and nodded.  
"Is something wrong?" She automatically asked.  
He shook his head. "Everything is fine. We need to ask you about a customer of yours. He bought a copy of "The collection of John Keats; Narrated by _Ralph Richardson." _She nodded and blinked.  
"Follow me, please." They walked around the counter and to a stairway, which led into a basement. There were shelves upon shelves of extremely old books carefully wrapped in plastic. "What is your name?" Asked Sanzo.  
She opened a draw of a filing cabinet.  
"It's Yamashita Ayumi." She replied. She plucked out a small yellow piece of paper and handed it to Hakkai.

"You are lucky that I only had one of those books in stock, John Keats is a popular poet. Especially with the teenagers." She said.  
"That's probably because they didn't know what a horn dog the guy was" Sanzo said with a grin.

Hakkai shook his head.

"Uh…well yes. We appreciate your help." He said before carefully reading the receipt.  
"Joe Lawson…" He trailed off, the room dissolved. The walls were green and there were no windows. It looked like he was standing in a basement of some sort.  
He heard a noise behind him, it was a little girl and she was chained to the ground. Her ankles were suffering severe bruising due to the terrible chafing of her bonds.  
She was crying. Just weakly weeping as if she was alone in the world.  
"Are you alright?" Hakkai asked her.  
She jolted, not knowing where the voice had come from.  
"Get away from me"  
She screamed and began to rip at her hair. Hakkai could not determine its colour. She was bleeding though, he could smell it.  
"Calm down, child. I'm no monster. I'm here to help you. What has he done to you?"

She shook her head, weeping still.

"I don't know" She hiccuped. She was shaking all over.  
"How can I help you, has he hurt you?"  
The intensity of her weeping increased and she nodded. "Y-Yes, he has hurt me. And my mummy."

Hakkai looked over to the older woman lying on the ground not far from the little girl. It was so dark that he couldn't see either of them properly.  
"Will she wake up?" Asked Hakkai.

"No, he killed her. She's dead, like what happened to Jerry when a car hit him. Mummy's in heaven. Is that right?"

Hakkai blinked and suddenly longed to touch her, hold her and take her away from everything. He felt completely in anguish, not knowing how he could help her.  
"Oh little darling. I'm going to get you out of here. Just tell me, do you know where you are?"

She nodded.  
"I'm at home."

He sighed.   
"Good, that's good. Where is home?"

Suddenly, the connection he had made with her began too waver and dissipate.   
"Where's home, child? Where's home?!"

"What are you yellin about Hakkai, get a grip." Sanzo's voice cut through the darkness and he was standing once again in the basement of "Booktopia" with the wholesome store manager and his sarcastic partner.

"Sorry Ma'am, he gets emotional sometimes."

"Sanzo, stop it." Hakkai snapped angrily.  
"He's killed someone else and has a child hostage. We have to find him and we have to find him now."

"What's going on?" Asked Ayumi, sounding a little alarmed.

"Nothing Ms. Yamashita. Thanks for the trouble. We'll need to be taking this." He said as he followed Hakkai up the stairs. He took the receipt from the floor and shoved it into his pocket.

"What the hell happened in there?" Sanzo demanded as he took the driver's seat.

"I don't know, I made some sort of telepathic connection with the little girl that I saw in the vision…"

Hakkai broke off, thinking back on what he had seen and the absolute blunt truth that the little girl had possessed. i "he killed her. She's dead, like what happened to Jerry when a car hit him. Mummy's in heaven. Is that right?" /i 

"…Sanzo, we have to help that poor child."

Sanzo nodded without taking his eyes off of the road. "We'll catch the sick fuck, don't worry about that."

The mother was dead? Sanzo weaved throughout the traffic, wondering how the girl could continue living her life as a normal kid after what she had seen.

i "…I couldn't protect him…" /i 

"Sanzo, perhaps you should concentrate more on the road"

He heard Hakkai tell him, Sanzo blinked.

"Oh, shit."

He veered out of the lane and onto the sidewalk, avoiding a collision with another car. He slammed on the breaks and sighed. How were they going to find this guy? The only lead that they had was that woman back there, and that wasn't exactly 'hard evidence'. Hakkai reached to the back of the car and took a file into his lap. He traced his fingertips across a black and white snapshot of the latest crime scene. The green of his eyes seemed to dull as he concentrated all of his energy into the scene.

He gasped "Sanzo, I know where she is!" Sanzo started up the car, "Where to?" He asked pulling back onto the road. Hakkai recited the location, which was now a clear painting on the wall of his mind.

"Time to go." Said Gojyo, he slung his coat over his shoulder and opened the front door for Goku.

"But-"

"I didn't ask you what you wanted to do, monkey. Now let's go, now."

"Hey, you can't talk to me like that, you perverted pimp-master!"

Normally, Gojyo would have replied with something along the lines of "Baby monkey in denial of his sexuality or somethin'?" But he had other things on his mind. "We gotta find a place for tonight. I don't know about you, but I don't wanna sleep outside. Looks like rain."

Goku checked both ways for cars, like he had been taught as a little boy. He looked back at Gojyo, wondering what was bothering him.

"Gojyo, can we get something to-"

"MOVE YER ASS GOKU"

Goku was confused; he didn't know why Gojyo would be yelling at him like….

There was a flash of red, shattering glass and the sickly sound of Goku's body thudding against the hood of the car. The car screeched and drove on in a damned hurry. Leaving Goku lying in an unnatural and twisted position on the ground.

"YOU FUCKING GUTLESS BASTARD, COME THE FUCK BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Gojyo screamed against the roaring winds, he rushed to Goku's side and knelt on the ground. There was blood and already ugly purple bruising had begun to spread across Goku's face.

"Shit" Gojyo swore and rolled up his coat then carefully placed it underneath Goku's head. He looked around him quite panicked, trying to think of what to do. Every second that he wasted thinking could be another second of Goku's life slipping away. Gojyo swore again. Then, he spotted a car climbing the hill towards them and jumped up in front of it, waving his arms over his head.

"Stop, STOP."

The car grunted as it skidded to an abrupt stop right in front of Gojyo.

The cops from before each stepped outside of the car. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! You're lucky my partner here convinced me to stop else I'd have run over your sorry ass." Exclaimed the blonde one.

"There's no time fer that, my friend needs help." Gojyo said evenly, glaring at Sanzo.

Hakkai was already kneeling beside the young Goku. "He's not breathing…I'm not sure that he can be resuscitated…"

"Can't you try!" Demanded Gojyo as he joined Hakkai in the middle of the road.

Sanzo saw that same young boy from before; he was pale and looked completely lifeless.

Sanzo walked towards him, ignoring the other two as he picked Goku up in his arms. The boy was limp and quivering, the shock of the accident was rattling through his body. Sanzo placed his hand on Goku's head and closed his eyes.

"The fuck does he think he's doing, crazy bastard" Gojyo began, heated.

"Wait" Hakkai simply said, leading the other man off of the road.

Goku opened his eyes and he was looking down on his sleeping body. "What's happening?" He said out loud, becoming afraid. He was freezing, why was it so cold? He couldn't stop shivering.

"You should calm down."

Those docile lavender eyes were no longer cold. They seemed quite passionate and warm.

"What's happened to me?"

Sanzo smiled now, closing his eyes. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was wearing religious robes, scriptura hung over his broad shoulders and a golden crown sat on top of his head.

"You took a nasty fall. That's all, you need to be a man now and stand up."

Goku looked back to Sanzo and cocked his head to one side. "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't." Sanzo shifted from the shadows and into the light, his arms stretched out, reaching for Goku.

"I…. I can't move" He stammered, feeling embarrassed.

"I'll help you."

Goku touched his fingertips to Sanzo's and felt electric warmth rush back into his veins. He felt his heart begin to race as the blonde man pulled him firmly to his feet and picked him up in his arms.

"I'm here now…"

i "One, two, three…One, two, three…"

"We've got a heart beat, he's breathing."

"Can you hear me?" /i 

Goku couldn't see properly, all around him were blurred human faces and although he knew that they weren't close he felt suffocated by them. It hurt to breath or talk or move. He tried to speak but the words didn't come out, so he nodded weakly.

"Don't you do that to me again, you stupid Monkey" He head Gojyo's familiar voice in the distance. He closed his eyes, feeling as though his eyelids were bruised.

He felt people lifting him up and placing him on a steady stretcher.

He managed to murmur a whisper, "Sanzo…?"

But everything went black again. He wasn't lost, but he was asleep. When they arrived at the hospital the doctors deemed it impossible to tell when he would wake up.

"Are you sayin' he's in a coma?"

Gojyo asked quietly.

Sanzo looked up at the house, it seemed almost daunting. The roof was tiled with black stone plates and the walls were sandstone. The windows were dark, nobody is home? He sure hoped that little girl was still alive. And, as he looked over to Hakkai, he could tell that they were both thinking exactly the same thing.

He fingered the length of his gun against his hip and approached the door. It made a creak as it opened; Hakkai peered into the darkness of the house. It was quite ordinary, no signs of a struggle. Hakkai thought on this, meaning that perhaps this woman trusted the killer enough to open her door to him.

i I'll check out the rest of the house for the killer. You check the basement for the girl /i Hakkai, being able to hear Sanzo's thoughts nodded in agreement and they parted ways.

Sanzo first scanned the kitchen, lounge room and dining room. He made his way up the stairs and silently glided through the hallways, checking the mother's bedroom. He wasn't in there, wasn't hiding in the closet, nor was he in the bathroom. He checked the bathroom, the linen cupboard and finally the small girl's room.

The door opened quietly and Sanzo saw a thin, lean silhouette against the shadowed, pink wallpaper. Sanzo drew his gun and gently squeezed the trigger.

"Put your hands up" He ordered, keeping his eyes on the target. He couldn't make out the other person's features. But as it turned, he noticed a flash of golden eyes.

"Are you going to shoot me? Heh…"

The figure stepped into the light, but his features were still almost impossible to determine.

"…Not likely, Genjo Sanzo"

Sanzo narrowed his brows, almost put off by the other man's knowledge of his name. But Genjo? What the hell did that mean?

"Put your fucking hands up i now /i ." He repeated, making sure that his confusion did not show in his words.

"Have it your way," He said, casually raising his hands in the air.

Sanzo kept his gun pointed at the other man while reaching for the cuffs against his belt. The other man quickly pulled out a hunting knife and slashed it against Sanzo's face. He had moved so quickly that Sanzo didn't even see it coming. He fired three rounds of his gun but missed. The other man had disappeared.

"Shit"

i Hakkai, possible suspect may be coming your way /i 

Hakkai was concerned about what he might see when he arrived at the bottom of the dark stair well. So far there was nothing, not that he could see. But then, he was nearly blind in one eye. He would imagine that this factor would interfere with his ability to see in dark places.

He took his gun from its holster, feeling more uncomfortable by its weight than secure. The heavy scent of sour blood and decay was what welcomed him to the scene. The first thing that he saw on the gritty floor of the basement was a young, blonde woman. She was lying face down in a pool of dark blood. Hakkai closed his eyes and sighed, making a silent prayer for the lost soul whose body lay mutilated before him. He looked to the far wall and that was where he saw the little girl. She was completely naked, with the words "I Live" carved into her chest. The blood from the wounds was trickling down her little feet and between her toes, leaving small blood splatters on the ground below her.

The killer had driven thick, metal nails through the palms of her hands and her feet.

"The crucifix" Hakkai stammered, shocked at this display of absolute cruelty.

"P-please…help…" The little girl sobbed, weakly. Hakkai almost gasped at the sound of her voice, he thought for sure that she was dead.

He placed his gun back in its holster and rushed to the girl's side. He took the clinical white latex gloves from his pocket and grasped the first nail. He pulled each out with ease and cautiously took the child in his arms. He felt his heart sink, her pretty little face had been taunted with a blade and her eyelids were badly bruised. He hoped that the killer had not blinded her.

i Hakkai, possible suspect may be coming your way /i 

Hakkai pivoted and glared into the darkness to the top of the stairway. Sure enough, the dark outline of a man stood poised at the top.

"Well hello there, I see you've found my little gift."

Hakkai frowned, feeling the anger well up inside of him. The little girl began to whimper.

"So you did this."

The figure chuckled and switched on the light. Hakkai felt quite suddenly exposed and he reached for his gun.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Hakkai paused, but kept his hand on the gun. The man slowly stepped into the light revealing a carnival-like grin. His eyes were the colour of gold with an intimidating intensity to them. His ears pointed at the tip, like those of a fantasy elf and his skin was darkly tanned. He stretched out his hands and showed his keen, long fingernails. This man looked almost inhuman. Hakkai had never seen somebody quite like him before. Hakkai's eyes remained ardent, yet emotionless as he drew his hand from the gun and left it limp at his side.

"You are the monster who has committed these heinous crimes."

He chuckled again, "Oh how perceptive of you, Cho Hakkai. So what are you going to do with me now, hmmm? I got past your partner easily enough."

Hakkai smiled "I know what I would do with you had I the power."

"But you do, my friend. You simply fail to see it."

Hakkai shook his head, holding the little girl closer to his chest. "You will not touch her again." He said, determined.

"Really?" He scoffed "Then why don't you stop me?" The man seemed to propel himself from the top of the stairs, but it looked so slow to Hakkai. Like he moved only a centimetre a minute. Hakkai stretched his hand out and closed his eyes, concentrating all of his energy to his palm. A sudden burst of white seemed to stream from Hakkai's hand and strike the killer down.

As he fell to his knees he spluttered "S-so…. it i is /i you. Humph, and they told me that I was a fool for looking." He held his side, feeling the pain shoot throughout his entire body. Then he grinned again.

"Give me Wine, Women and Snuff…" Said the killer and then it seemed as though he disappeared.

Hakkai looked to the little girl and sighed. "Are you alright?" He asked her, trying to ignore the newfound strength, which he could now feel coursing through his body.

"It…hurts…" She managed to whisper. Hakkai nodded and took her up the stairs.

Sanzo almost stumbled down the stairs to meet Hakkai. The cut had gone incredibly deep…almost dangerously so. He held it, trying to cease the blood flow.

"Did you get him?"  
He asked Hakkai as he appeared from the basement, holding the child.

"I'm sorry Sanzo, he got away."

Sanzo pounded his fist into the wall, leaving a fractured dent in its wake. "God damnit. Did you at least see his face?" Hakkai nodded, and walked towards the phone, dialling the number for an emergency ambulance.

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Thankyou for taking the time to read chapter four! Please, review and let me know what you thought of it. Flaming is not welcome here.


	6. Sleeping Beauty

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction.

A/N: This is a forewarning. This chapter begins as a central around Gojyo, so quite strong sexual references. "You Say You Love" is becoming more intense, violent and carnal so please, if any of these things worry you take into consideration that I have warned you. Also, I would like to apologize about my absence lately. I thank you all for maintaining interest in my story. Please, enjoy!

Chapter five: Sleeping Beauty

The likeness of an Angel

Trodden wings of black and blue

To fall, to love and turn to hatred

These things I whisper must be true.

Held within such arms is madness

Unto one such likeness of the truth

Their eyes are empty

Their lips are branded

Their plastic veins sucking,

Devouring souls and lies.

Such windows are hidden, their colour dulled

Lips weary and waiting.

Awaken, sleeping beauty.

How I long for you.

Shy-Phantom – "A series of Authorless notes – 1998"

Gojyo felt the aching desire tear throughout him as soon as he had seen the nurse tending to Goku's facial bruising.

"What's yer verdict, you reckon' he'll be up and about soon enough?"

She smiled sadly, "Who can say?" Her glossy black hair fell against her shoulders like silk, framing a beautiful, pale face.

"Can ya stay a while an' talk to me?" His crimson eyes imploring her and she looked at the clock.

"I'm sure that I could stay for a few minutes." He flashed her a charming smile and nodded.

"Is he your little brother?" She asked politely.

"Him? Close enough to one."

She gave him that sad smile again. "I'm sorry." She said.

He nodded. "Yeah, it's alright. Just hope he wakes up soon."

She hesitantly placed her hand over his.

"I'm jus' so scared he won't wake up" Said Gojyo, if this routine didn't get him a sympathy fuck, then he didn't know what would.

She brushed her fingertips through his hair and her pouting lips curved into a warm smile. He caught her hand in his and kissed it, cradling her eyes with his. He stood and tugged on her arm, playfully, she almost giggled and a deep blush spread across her face. She followed him into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. He picked her up at her waist and sat her on the counter, positioning himself between her parted legs.

"What happened…?"  
He shrugged, sipping the thin smoke from his cigarette. "I don't know, I'm only here because it is what you wish."  
"Oh. You mean, you don't wanna be here?"  
There was silence, he wasn't going to answer that question.  
"Sanzo?"  
The other man stood adjacent to him in the darkness.  
"Are you going to leave me?"  
He chuckled  
"I guess not."  
Goku stared through the shadows, waiting for something to be said. "Are you real? I mean…you said I was sleeping, right? Does that mean this is all just a dream?"  
Sanzo looked up at his young companion.  
"In a sense – yes, you are dreaming. I might just be a figment of your imagination…who knows?"  
Goku stood up and walked towards the other man, his steps weary and his heart was thudding almost violently within his chest.  
He earnestly feathered his fingers through Sanzo's hair.  
"Will you hurt me if I…"  
"If you what?"

He moved to take Goku's hand within his own. The boy winced, frightened.   
"Why are you so scared of me?" Sanzo asked. Goku blinked – wanting to move away but not being able to. The blush deepened as Sanzo pulled the younger man into his arms.  
"I don't normally feel much…I don't wish to sound melodramatic. But I am afraid for you. I really do wish that you would wake up, Monkey."

"But I'm not sleeping, I don't understand what you want me to do." Goku whined but Sanzo remained complacent.

"I suppose that means I have to wake you up then." He sighed.

Sanzo stared through the lenses of his reading glasses just over the top of his newspaper. He didn't know what had possessed him to come here. But that kid had gotten to him, perhaps he was worried?  
He didn't like that this was a possibility. He saw the boy's fingers twitch a little. He considered for a moment, calling for a doctor.  
"Good afternoon, sir. Are you the boy's father?" Asked a Doctor. The woman's auburn locks had been tied neatly into a loose bun.  
"No, my name is Sanzo, I'm"  
Her expression suddenly broke into a warm smile  
"Oh you're the boy's partner? Well, that's just wonderful! Gojyo has told us a lot about you two."  
Sanzo fumed silently and looked to Goku, resting in the bed. It was tragic, really. There were tubes running all over his body, like synthetic veins and dark bruising appeared all over his body.  
"Is he going to be ok?" Sanzo asked quietly.  
"Well yes. But that's only if he wakes up soon. Unfortunately…"  
The rest of what she had been saying fizzled out as he looked back towards Goku, lying helplessly battered and broken in that hospital bunk. After he discussed Goku's condition with the doctor, Sanzo returned to the room and closed the door behind him. It was dark outside now, the rain was falling again, leaving the rhythmic pitter-patter of natural music in its wake.  
"You'd better wake up." He said quietly. He glanced at the closed shudders and then brought his chair from the corner of the room to the side of the bed.  
He knelt by the bed, looking over the young man's tranquil face.

"I don't normally feel much…I don't wish to sound melodramatic. But I am afraid for you. I really do wish that you would wake up, Monkey."

He felt something within him stir and his heart began to thud painfully in his chest. And then he was so powerfully drawn to this boy that he almost couldn't resist him. He felt himself draw close to the boy's lips, listened to the heavy yet steady breathing and blinked. Sanzo leapt to his feet when he heard voices outside and moved towards the door. He blinked, watching the boy's bruised eyelids remain frozen.

"What are you doin' in here?" Gojyo demanded.

Sanzo didn't answer; he swept past the other man without sparing him a glance at all.

"You'd better not have hurt him. I'll kick yer ass if yah have!"

Damn security, my ass he thought to himself as he pulled the chair up against the side of Goku's bed. He glanced down at the smudged phone number Cheryl had written on his hand.

It was then that he realized, right then when he looked at the little love heart next to the last digit that he really hated himself sometimes.

Hakkai pressed his hand up against the window, watching the poor little girl falling into restless slumber. He sighed to himself and took a sip of his coffee. After hours of interrogation and examination Hakkai was relieved to see her sleeping but he wondered how much rest the poor child was actually getting. After seeing such terrible things right before her eyes…

"Hakkai,"

He almost jumped out of his skin and turned to greet his partner. "Where have you been, Sanzo?"

He rolled his newspaper up and tucked it underneath his left arm. "I was getting something to eat" he replied.

Hakkai nodded and looked back to the little girl.  
"Do you think that she will be alright, Sanzo…?" He frowned "…Please feel free to lie to me."

Sanzo grinned and looked at Hakkai pointedly.

"Honestly? I think she'll be messed up for a while. So long as she goes into a good home she'll grow up just fine. The future is not dictated by the past. We make our own paths."

Hakkai nodded "You're right."

Sanzo turned his back "Where are you going?"

Hakkai asked, curiously.

"I have some business to settle. I'll check in with you later."

"Alright."

Sanzo walked through the different wings. He watched people shuffling around glumly. It seemed to him that their illnesses were sucking their souls right out of their hearts.

"Today is not my day," He mumbled as he passed through the doors labelled "exit" into the thunderous rain. "Sanzo?" He heard a startled voice and paused for a moment. He turned slowly to face her.

"Fiona" he replied, regretting now that he had come here at all.

They stood facing one another in silence, the awkwardness between them almost excruciating.

He examined her, she had grown her hair. The chestnut coloured locks now lay silkily over her shoulders. She was thinner, perhaps more lean and she was dressed in expensive clothing. She was wearing a tightly fitted beige trench coat with cream-coloured leggings and knee high brown leather boots.

"You look good," She said to him, biting her lip.

"Yeah, thanks." He replied and cleared his throat.

"What are you doing tonight?" She asked earnestly.

"Fiona, don't." He replied turning his back on her in the rain.

"Don't what?" She called after him. He could her stiletto heels clacking on the wet pavement as she jogged to catch up with him. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's been, what? Two years? We've got a lot of catching up to do." She beamed at him, but he could tell that she felt uncomfortable.

"Fine."

She fumbled with her umbrella to retrieve a pen and paper and scribbled down the details of their meeting for him. He glanced at it and stuffed it into his pocket, not taking note of her fingers brushing against his as she handed him the note.

What have you gotten yourself into?

She leant forward and closed her eyes. "Fiona…what are you-?"

Her lips were upon his before he could finish his sentence. He considered for a moment what he was feeling and realized with great relief that it was nothing.

He pushed her away,

"Fiona, I don't like to be touched, it would be in your best interests to keep that in mind."

She looked hurt but said nothing to indicate it.  
"Ok, well see you tonight, don't be late." She sang. He sighed; he had really gotten himself into something that was going to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Oh princess, I wish that I could make it all go away." Hakkai whispered, stroking the little girl's hair. She tossed and turned in her sleep, moaning a little out of fear. He felt torn from his thoughts when he heard an urgent tapping on his door.

He opened it and stared at the grubby stranger in front of him. "May I help you, sir?"

He nodded, shaking as he looked over Hakkai's shoulder.  
"I came here to see my daughter."

Hakkai blinked and shuffled forwards, closing the door behind him.

"It would be best to talk out here, quietly. She has not been able to sleep for the past few hours." The other man nodded.

His clothes were filthy, his eyes were bloodshot and he was twitching terribly.

"Are you alright?" He asked suspiciously.

"Yeah sure. Can I see her?" He had a terrible stutter and he was blinking very fast.

"Well I think I shall take a blood test to confirm that you are – as you claim – her father. Considering the dangers that she has faced recently, it really is necessary."

He said carefully noting that the man in front of him seemed offended by this.

"Alright, alright, I just want to see her." He replied quickly, Hakkai nodded, understanding but very suspicious.

He led the man to a doctor at once, ensuring that there were two police officers guarding the little girl's room before he left her.

Hakkai waited patiently for the man to come out of the doctor's office. He glanced across the hallway.

The doctor stepped out of the room and brushed past Hakkai. "Have you run the test yet?" He asked impatiently. "Not as yet. It should be done within the next couple of days." Hakkai nodded. "It seems to me though that he has some sort of 'foreign substance' in his bloodstream."

Hakkai returned to the little girl's room and sat in the chair beside her. She opened her eyes and they were full of tears.

"C-can you sit b'next to me?" She spluttered. Hakkai cleared his throat and sat down, feeling awkward beside her. She immediately crawled into his arms, shivering violently.  
"Don't let him hurt me…"

He wrapped his arms around her hesitantly and nodded. "I won't, princess."

Well that's all for Chapter five. Thankyou for reading, please read and review! Oh and I wanted your opinion on something. I need to know what you think about a pairing for Gojyo. I have some ideas, but I would like to know what you think. Thanks a lot!

Shy-Phantom


	7. Lost

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you might recognize from the manga/anime _Saiyuki. _Any traits that you do recognize belong to Tokyopop and the writers and artists on the team of _Saiyuki. _I also do not claim to own any of the poetry written by the great John Keats that you may or may not recognize in this fan fiction.

A/N: This is a forewarning. This chapter revolves around Hakkai. I am writing about his past in the New York setting, so I warn you here and now that I have changed it a lot. The story is still basically the same but with a cynical and horrific spin to it. I didn't realize until one of my readers requested more of Hakkai that I had not written as much about him as I had with the other characters.

I would like to personally thank the fans of this fiction, which keep me writing it. You keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!

Chapter six: The Man with No Name, Pt. 1

"Get away from me, Gonou!" Screamed Kanan, she backed up against the wall helplessly. Her hands were trembling as she placed one of them over the slight curve of her belly and tightened her fingers around the gun that she was holding. "That fucking monster's child is alive inside of me" She fumed, the tears were on her face making her mascara run.

"Kanan, it's alright. We can work though this," he told her weakly. He sighed and felt his stomach drop when he saw the marks on the inside of her forearm.

"Kanan...have you been using again?"

She burst into tears, her wails of emotional exhaustion must have echoed throughout the entire building. He tried to move forward but she raised the gun and pointed it at his head. "Don't you dare get any closer, I swear to god I will kill you."

He raised his hands and showed them to her. "Kanan…don't you remember? These hands? These hands touch you gently; they hold you when you need them to. They work for you so that you can eat and have a roof over your head. Please…Kanan…I love you so much. I don't want to lose you."

She shook her head, her plain lips twisted into a cruel and frightened smile.

"Goodbye, Gonou." She said as she held the gun against the temple of her head. He screamed and ran towards her.

He was too late and Kanan pulled the trigger. Blood splattered all over the wall behind her and all over the kitchen benches. Her blood was against his face, on his hands and against his lips. He didn't move for a moment and he didn't speak. He calmly walked over to the gun and kicked it across the floor.

Hakkai sat up in bed covered in a cold sweat. He glanced at the digital alarm clock beside him. It was three in the morning and after that nightmare he wasn't going to be able to sleep. He sighed, placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose and placed his feet on the cold floorboards. He made his way into the kitchen and turned on the kettle.

Hakkai dropped a tea bag into an empty, white mug and poured the boiling hot water from the kettle over the bag. He watched the steam rise and placed his palms on either side of the mug. He was trembling and he couldn't stop it tonight.

He heard a knock at his door and jumped a little, the mug shattered on the kitchen floor. He slipped into his brown robe and answered the door. "Yamashita Ayumi?" The red-haired woman stood in the doorway looking terrified. "May I come in?" She asked, shivering. It had been raining outside and she was soaked. The rain made her shirt cling to her torso, Hakkai felt his eyes wander to her breasts and he blinked suddenly, blushing he stood aside for her.

"Would you like a towel?" He asked her, walking down his hallway to the linen cupboard. He took a fluffy, white towel and handed it to her. "Is there something wrong? Did something happen?" Her blue eyes were piercing and Hakkai found himself extremely self-conscious underneath her gaze.

She shook her head. "No but I had a terrible nightmare about a man coming into my room…come to think of it, he didn't seem like a man at all. He was…like…a monster." She whispered, trembling violently. "But it felt so real. I called my little girl as soon as I woke up and she's fine. She's with her grandmother." Hakkai sat in the chair across from her.

"Pardon me for such an abrupt question, but how do you know where I live?" He asked her quietly without looking at her. She looked away "I don't know why but I needed to see you. I called your department and explained my situation to them. They handed me onto your partner, Mr. Sanzo. He gave me your address."

Hakkai cursed silently remembering the broken ceramic on the tiles of his kitchen floor. He was angry that Sanzo had led this woman to him. Why? Perhaps it was because at night he doesn't quite feel like himself. Perhaps it was because he felt like this woman was an intruder upon his personal torment. He was weak at the moment and he was afraid that she might see it.

He walked into the kitchen and began to pick up the broken pieces of the mug up off of the floor. They were hot and they burnt his fingers but he didn't care. Ayumi followed him, watching him pick these pieces up and pulled the towel closer about her body.

"You really should not wander around this city alone in the rain at night, my dear. As I'm sure that you are aware, New York is a dangerous city indeed particularly for you at this point in time."

She scoffed "With all due respect, I'm no child investigator. I can take care of myself."

"I apologize if I sounded condescending, madam. However, what you may be dealing with is no man. You are right, he is a monster and he will stop at nothing until he has accomplished whatever sick goal he has set for himself at the end of his gruesome little game."

Hakkai carefully placed the broken ceramic in the dustbin and invited Ayumi to take a seat. She reluctantly sunk into his cushy armchair and stared straight ahead.

"I'm so sorry" She began in a quivering voice.

Hakkai narrowed his brows "Whatever are you apologizing for?" He asked her with genuine concern.

"Knocking on your door at this time of the night, interrupting your sleep. I'd warrant that with your current investigation you haven't had much of it."

He paused for a moment. She was right, he hadn't had much sleep lately but it didn't really have anything to do with the pressing investigation.

He placed his warm hands over her cold ones and smiled, holding her eyes with his own.

"I am a criminal investigator, it is my duty to protect you." She looked away from him and he brought her face closer with his fingers on her chin. "But even if it wasn't I would still do what I could to protect you and your daughter Ayumi."

She forced a smile onto her face, trying to show her gratitude. He shook his head "If you don't feel like smiling, then don't. When you're here, you are free to do as you please."

He disappeared through a doorway and returned carrying some blankets and pillows.

"I would like you to spend the night with me, I do not like the idea of your being alone right now."

She could feel a blush spread across her cheeks as he finished speaking. "…I would like you to spend the night with me…" he had said. The first time Ayumi had seen Hakkai she felt enchanted by him. She felt drawn to him, when she had that nightmare she just ran and ran until she found herself in the safety of his presence. It wasn't something that she could explain. Or perhaps it wasn't something that she wanted to explain.

He unfolded his couch into a bed and smoothed the sheets over the mattress there.

"I will sleep in here tonight, you may take the bed." He offered with a smile.

"No, I couldn't possibly…" She began to protest.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you can. But first you must get out of those wet clothes and into a warm bath. I'll go and run one for you, I will only be a moment."

Hakkai turned his back on her and walked calmly into the bathroom. His hands were shaking as he turned on the hot water. He closed the door behind him and slid down onto the floor. His face rested in his hands as he felt himself begin to violently shake.

When he took his hands away from his face his bathroom was covered in blood. There were screams coming from his lounge room. Hakkai struggled to his feet and slammed the door open, in the lounge room that very same monster with yellow eyes was raping a little girl. Ayumi lay dead on the floor; her eyes had been cut out of their sockets.

The blood ran from her face and seeped into his cream carpet.

"You bastard" He whispered, shaking with rage.

The monster turned to face him, there was blood on his lips. "Well, hello there stranger".

He blinked and the chaos had disappeared. He was left with the sound of the water running and quiet. He felt his heart racing as he returned to the lounge room. Ayumi was still sitting there, shivering a little on the couch.

He sighed quietly out of relief and took her hands, helping her to her feet. "Here, follow me." He told her gently and led her to the bathroom.

"I shall prepare something for you to eat and a pair of fresh clothes for bed." She began to protest but Hakkai just smiled and closed the door. She peeled her clothes off and laid them neatly over the shower in order to drain the rainwater out of them.

Hakkai leant against the door, closing his eyes he remembered Kanan. He didn't feel tears in his eyes, it had been a long time since he had wept or felt much in the way of love, comfort and safety. When he thought about the child his heart swelled. He wanted to protect her, to keep her safe and warm and happy. The man who entered the hospital earlier in the afternoon and claimed to be her father seemed a lot more than suspicious.

He shuffled into the kitchen and took some eggs, milk and butter out of the fridge. He cracked the eggs into a mixing bowl and stirred all of the ingredients together. He added basil and diced bacon and then tipped the mix onto a hot frying pan. He listened carefully, feeling concerned about the shaken woman in his bathroom and the little girl in the hospital. He should really be there with her right now. He should be looking after Ayumi more than he was. He sighed guiltily.

After the eggs were ready he walked along the hallway and entered his bedroom. He couldn't find anything suitable of his clothing for her to wear so he reluctantly began to browse through Kanan's things. He chose a pair of plain, white flannelette pyjamas. They were warm and they looked like Ayumi's size. Perhaps they were a little too big as Ayumi was slightly smaller than Kanan.

He carried the folded garments to the bathroom and knocked on the door. He heard no reply. He knocked again, insistently. There was still no reply. Slightly in panic, he pushed the door open to see Ayumi jerk up out of the water and quickly cover her breasts.

"Oh…I-I'm so terribly sorry…" Spluttered Hakkai, averting his eyes. "I knocked and you didn't answer. I was concerned. I'm sorry." He rushed out of the room after shifting the clothing onto the tiled floor and closed the door promptly. He felt embarrassed and ashamed of intruding upon her personal space.

He waited for her to emerge from the bathroom, when she did he straightened himself up accordingly.

"I apologize for…" She turned to him with a meek smile. "Don't worry about it. You were concerned. It's…touching." He offered her the food, which was still steaming as she took the plate out of his hands.

"Thankyou for this" She said quietly, suddenly she was very aware of herself around him. He was simply smiling, not necessarily at her. It was almost as though he was hiding behind those eyes from a world he thought…She silently cursed herself. How rude of her to try to analyse somebody who was being so kind and helpful. But still, there was something about him that she couldn't really pinpoint. Whatever it was, that something dark and bitter and it poisoned him against most things.

He was quite content to say nothing at all as she ate, she supposed that was the best thing for the two of them after the embarrassing incident in the bathroom had taken place. When she finished, Hakkai led Ayumi to his bedroom and opened the door.

She thanked him and looked into his eyes with a certain level of heart-felt gratitude. He smiled and nodded. "Please, do not hesitate to ask if you should need or want anything I will be down the hall." He told her.

"Thankyou, goodnight." She replied. He closed the door for her and she switched on the light. Immediately she noticed how bare the room was. The walls, drapes, furniture and linen were all grey. His bedroom's exterior was completely void of any personal items. Even colours, which might hint at some kind of positive depth to his personality, were extremely (if not completely) limited.

She crawled onto the bed and buried herself underneath the blankets. Reluctantly she turned off the lights and snuggled into the pillow. She realized that the only thing helping her along to sleep was the scent of Hakkai laced strongly on the pillows.


End file.
